CHRISTMAS BREAK!

Hello Western Washington! Nice to see you!

I'm back for the Holidays which is Oh so nice and i'm loving visiting friends from home that i haven't seen in awhile. I've gotten to visit with friends that i have missed and hear all about their lives and new schools.

Today i met up with some friends from high school at our old Bible study "meet up spot". I loved hearing all about the crazy room mates and transition time that each one of us experienced. It was so nice to hear about all the change and difficult times we had gone through in our first semester of college and all the fun we were waiting to experience for our next!

4 hours later we decided to say good bye, only because all we had put in our bodies that day was large doses of coffee. I was feeling a bit jittery, i had to go to the bathroom, and i was hungry... So good to be home and see those sweet friends!!

We will do it again... and i'm not just saying that

A loooooong Walmart trip

What happens when you take a boy from the brother house to Walmart... this:

   First i had to get gas so we went to Cetex ( I had never heard of it). This part was actually my fault but in my defense... i had never seen a gas pump like this in my life. 

noz·zle/ˈnäzəl/

Noun:

A spout at the end of a pipe, hose, or tube, used to control a jet of gas or liquid.

So when the gas pump says, "lift nozzle and press handle to start pumping" I would assume that meant to lift the hose, stick it in my car, and the gas would start pouring into the gas tank. According to the gas pump... the definition of nozzle is actually, "the plastic vessel that holds the gas pump". I stood there for five minutes before i shamefully asked Kevin (the guys from my brother house) what i was doing wrong. He stepped out of the car, flipped the holder up, and got back in the car... my bad.

  We had a nice conversation on the way to Walmart and we made it to the land of crappy produce, poptarts, and khaki pants. Once we got there i found out that Kevin needed to print out some pictures. On our left side there was a small studio to take portraits. I didn't think that was where we needed to be in order to print off pictures from a USB so i suggested we ask Customer Service where the photo center was. Kevin conceded and we walked across the store only to find the line was filled with women and shopping carts full of Christmas gifts that they had decided would not make their husbands, aunts, or grandchildren happy. Soooo we walked all the way back to the portrait center to be told by a not so kind woman that they printed all their pictures in Missouri. I explained to her that we needed to just print some pictures from a USB and she pointed to the back of the store.

   The back of the store has a small photo center and a couple kiosks to plug in your USBs. Strangely there was a very clear space to put your floppy disc in but underneath the machine there was a space for the USB drive to be plugged in... you would think Walmart of all paces would be a little more modern. Kevin plugged his USB drive and a single picture popped up. I thought he forgot to put his pictures on the drive BUT... yes... we had driven all the way to Walmart to print off a single photo... and to our wonderful surprise, this Walmart was a 1 hour photo center. So we set out to wait for an hour for one picture. 

   We spent an hour eating Subway, looking around the store, and laughing hysterically at the fact that Kevin spent a good 30 seconds trying to open a peachy folder from the opposite side. I had to correct him by turning the folder around.

   Once our hour was up we went back to the photo center to be told that the machine had broke and it would be another half hour. So we sat down...

   20 minutes later, in the most distressed tone i had ever heard, the photo attendant came to tell us that every single one of the photo attendants were going on break and wouldn't be back for another half hour. 

   If you have ever imagined the stereotypical man who lives in his mother's basement... this was the photo attendant. He was wearing his khaki pants, a blue polo, a white wrinkled lab coat, and a name tag. He wore each one of these as if they were a CIA uniform and badge. As he was telling us that we would have to wait for another half hour (which we couldn't do because Kevin had to be at work in a half hour) mid sentence, he pauses, looks back, and sprints to the counter to check the picture. (Kevin and i start laughing hysterically). From across the store he looks a us, points, and screams, "YOU MY FRIEND ARE THE LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE"! (yes because waiting for an hour and a half for one picture makes us very very lucky).  He wraps the picture up, and very cooly slips the picture to us, winks, and says, "this is free".

  

A 2 hour Walmart trip, lots of laughs, and a story to tell our housemates... I would deem the trip successful. 

   The other day i had an assignment to listen to Francis Chan's sermon at a nearby church. I was really disappointed with what i listened to and went away from the sermon feeling a little bit less respect for Mr. Chan.
   The majority of his sermon focused on having "Crazy love" for the church. I can dig it... (I've been listening to late 1980's and early 1990's rap music). The beginning of his sermon focused much on scripture and he dove into examples of how his church had been showing love to one another and to the community around him. I was impressed by his elder board and their ability to give up the comfort of life insurance and look at one another in the eyes and say, "If something happens to you or your family, i'll take care of you." I was also really amazed at the fact that he was throwing a huge dinner for the homeless men and women around his neighborhood. Lobster, live entertainment, lavish gifts, and new outfits for each person was an expensive (and kind) thing to do. Theeeeen i started to feel uncomfortable. I couldn't get over the fact that he no longer was preaching from the Bible, but from his experiences and his excitement about what HE was doing and what HIS church was doing. I felt uncomfortable with his statement, "I'm excited to feel like God." (weird??)
   I walked away that day with a rock in my stomach and questions in my mind. I have a feeling that Francis Chan would never admit it but... i think he would agree that worshipping God and loving Him is by doing radical actions. All of his extremely specific actions were radical... crazy... controversial... EXCITING!! I didn't know what to think... i STILL don't know what to think. I don't like the idea of giving up insurance and spending lots of money on people i don't know and don't necessarily trust.

Then...

I started reading Crazy Love. (I know... that's so 4 years ago). This book has a chapter titled "Profile of the Lukewarm". Understanding what a lukewarm Christian really is takes up the majority of this chapter.
Lukewarm people:

• Attend church because it's "good"
• Give money to charity as long as it doesn't impinge on their standard of living
• Tend to choose what is popular over what is right in a conflict
• Don't really want to be saved from their sin; they want to be saved from the penalty of their sin
• Rarely share their faith because they don't want to be rejected
• Gauge their morality by comparing themselves to the secular world
• Only let God be a part of their lives
• Do not love God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength
• Love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves
• Will serve God and others but limit how much time and money they give
• Think about earthly life much more than eternity in heaven
• Are thankful for luxuries and do not consider giving as much as they can to the poor
• Do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling guilty
• Are continually concerned with playing it safe
• Do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they don't have to
• They equate their partially sanitized lives with holiness, but they couldn't be more wrong

I started to think about these things in their entirety. Along with this profile came Bible verses that ransacked the ideals of a lukewarm Christian and put into perspective the love Jesus had for each one of us. NO WHERE in the Bible does it show Jesus's loving actions being lukewarm. When one man told Jesus that he needed to bury his dead father before he followed him, Jesus's answer was, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God."
   I'm not saying that i necessarily think that all actions of love must be radical and we should all go around giving our houses to the bum on the street corner but i have been contemplating these things and wondering, "How am i different from a lukewarm Christian? Do my actions differ from this definition?" I think if anyone looked at this profile and then looked at their actions they would find it hard to say to themselves in all honesty, "I'm perfect". I don't necessarily DISagree with the statement that radical action should be the norm of the church... then again i don't DISagree with the statement that giving a meal to your neighbor who is hurting should be the norm of the church.
   I have been learning a lot about love these past few weeks and am feeling really convicted about my actions. I think Mr. Chan deserves a little credit for this one...

and God... also.
 

Life Lately

   It's almost Thanksgiving so the anticipation of going home and seeing my parents and extended family is welling up inside me. HOORAY i'm so excited. I'm traveling home with two guys from my brother house and one of my housemates... and i'm terribly excited to see one of my brothers step foot on a mountain for the first time! It was fun enough to see him experience snow fall for the first time but i can't wait to see his face when he sees an entire mountain (he's from an island near Jamaica).
   CHRISTMAS has already arrived at our home in Spokane. It's been snowing for about a week and the four Christmas trees in our house are set up... i repeat... FOUR! I got a head start on Christmas gifts and i officially can mark off the person who is THE hardest to shop for.
   I'm super excited about my new church and the fact that we are going through Romans! WooHoo! My new PCM is beginning in about two months which is really exciting and nerve recking all at the same time.
   My classes are coming to an end in about 3 weeks (what the heck... weird). I have finals Dec. 12th-15th and i'm pretty nervous because i know they are going to be hard.
   I'm starting to read How to be Free from Bitterness... wish me luck
   Learning to pray scripture because it just seems better... call me crazy. Psalm 139" Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." When you ask God to show you the offenses in your heart... He actually does and then you have to deal with them.
   I need new tights.

The End

Life Services!

   It's encouraging to know that there are well over 500 students in Spokane serving in some way every week. Thank-you Moody Bible Institute for reminding us Bible students that it isn't enough to read books about serving, talk about serving, encourage other people to serve, and wait for the day when we can "really" serve.
   Each semester at Moody, a student must be actively serving in our Practical Christian Ministry (PCM). This first semester i spent visiting churches and listening to pastors and teachers tell us all the ways we could serve. I was slightly discouraged at first when i didn't find a church that i fell in love with BUT... i've begun to go to a small church called Sunrise Bible that i adore (brownie points that my favorite  professor goes there). Due to the fact that they are relatively small, there wasn't a lot of places to serve aside from children's ministry.
   Hope was not lost. I started looking into a ministry called Life Services which is a free clinic for mothers with unexpected pregnancies. Most of the young women are in their teens and are weighing the options between abortion and keeping their babies to term. I fell in love with the ministry this place has.

Did you know:

• It is legal in Washington for a girl of any age to get an abortion without her parent's consent...
• BUT it is illegal to give a girl under 14 treatment for an STD
• Since 1973's Roe vs Wade, 53 MILLION lives have been lost to abortion. That is equivalent to killing every person in Washington, Oregon, California, Idaho, Montana,and Utah today.
• In 1997, Norma McCorvey (known as Jane Roe) became a born again believer and recanted her involvement from having anything to do with the tragedy of abortion.
• The abortion rate for children with down-syndrome is 95%
• 65% of women who have abortions claim to be protestant or Catholic

I'm reading a book right now called Why Pro-Life? Caring for the un-born and their mothers. It's amazing to hear the argument against abortion and still see human beings kill other human beings. I honestly believe that it is the lack of knowledge and pure ignorance that keeps so many people pro-choice. The director at Life services is a post-abortion woman and to hear her story was incredible. I love the fact that this ministry doesn't only focus on the saving of lives but also on the hearts of each woman and family who passes through their doors.

Materials i am devouring:

1. Why Pro-Life? Caring for the un-born and their mothers by Randy Alcorn
2. 180 Movie
3. Anything about Margaret Sangers (founder of Planned Parenthood)
4. Guttmacher Institute (Guttmacher took over Planned Parenthood when Sangers died. Read the information and take it with a grain of salt)
5. Dr. Peter Singer (this man makes my skin crawl... ugh)

Life Services...

Autumn

   Last weekend my housemates and i traveled to a Greenbluff which was reminiscent of my lovely home near Snohomish. It was perfect for a lovely fall day with Apple Orchards and "pick your own pumpkin" fields! 

Can you eat Indian corn??

A couple Housemates on an autumn day

ONLY 50 cents... one of these sweet babies turned into a pipe for my pumpkin

Thoughts on arrival

   This week i begin my 10th week at Moody Bible Institute. There is a strange feeling that i have been here for years, and yet at the same time that i only got here yesterday. I have had time to settle in, begin to make friends, create a persona that i wish others would see, and fall into routine. I can't believe all that God has done for me and im reminded of how i felt when i started this journey.
   When i first got accepted to Moody-SPOKANE, you couldn't imagine the disappointment. I had spent the past 6 months dreaming about how life would be in Chicago and what my life was going to be like in a big city. The worst part about reading that letter was getting excited when in congratulated me on my acceptance, but then halfway down the letter realizing they didn't have "room" for me in Chicago and they were sending me to Spokane. My heart sank and the next 5 hours at work felt like a lump was in my throat followed by a car ride home filled with tears. I learned a lot from that one experience with the major lesson being that i was prideful and arrogant. I have seen a lot of prideful people fall hard and i thank God that he corrected me early so that i wouldn't have to be humiliated later on.
   I got hit hard that summer with things going on around me and i was really distracted. Before i knew it August had rolled around and all of a sudden i was leaving in 2 weeks. The moment i came to that realization was on a mission trip in Mexico when my friend started to make plans to say goodbye to me. I stiffened up and i started to get really scared. One of my good friends asked me if i was okay and i remember saying, "I'm not ready for this. I can't  move out and go to school... I'm too little." He then proceeded to look at me and awkwardly try to comfort me but i was a little too overwhelmed.
   Two nights before i was going to leave, i started to pack all of my things. I had put off the lengthly process because when you begin, it becomes real. I remember sitting in my room, folding clothes, and crying my eyes out because i was so scared. I prayed so much that night and i was so nervous. I didn't want to say goodbye to anyone because it was embarrassing to cry in front of them and admit i wasn't as strong as i had pretended.
   The morning i left it was a warm and sunny and i had a lump in my throat all day. I started to cry when i put my bags in the car and throughout the five and a half hour car ride, i felt guilty as i drifted in and out of sleep while my Mom drove. That afternoon was terrifying as i clumsily met a few of my house mates and a boy next door with a nice southern accent while texting people from home i was sorry that i hadn't gotten to say goodbye. My room was big which made me feel a little bit better but i still felt extremely unprepared. I spent the night with my parents in the hotel so that we could get up early and begin shopping.
   Shopping with my parents when everyone is stressed out is really NOT fun. We argued a lot because i didn't want to hate my room and they didn't want to spend a million dollars. I met my roommate that day and slept in my room for the first time. I was SO scared and SO uncomfortable and just wanted to go home to Seattle. I spent the next 3 days at New Student Orientation which is where you are forced to uncomfortably meet people who are uncomfortable. The dedication ceremony was nice and it reminded me and my parents that i was not here by mistake and that although i had thought that Chicago was where i was suppose to be, God had a different and better plan for me.
   P.F Changs was the last dinner i had with my parents and it was nice to sit down and relax for a second. They bought A LOT of extra food so i could have all the leftovers. We went back to my new house and we prayed, hugged, said goodbye, and cried. I can't tell you how uncertain the future felt, how scared i was, or how unaware i was of God's plan.
   I'm still trying to understand God's plans for me and i still feel uncertain and afraid at times but i know that this is where i am suppose to be right now. I have met a lot of really great students out here who have told me about their disappointments about not getting into the Chicago campus and i can see that God is still good. I'm not the only one who gets scared and confused at times but i need to trust in God at all times.
   I'm learning a lot and excited about God's plans for me.

College Life

   I have only been a college student for seven and a half weeks but i feel like im taking nicely to the life of one.

• I'm drinking cold Folger's coffee and unsalted Saltines (does that make them ines?)
• There is a package of 48 toilet paper rolls sitting at the foot of my bed because it doesn't fit in our quaint bathroom.
• I've never had so many peanut butter tortillas in my life... why are they all of a sudden so good?
• I feel like all i do nowadays is read blogs. They are perfectly sweet.
• I picked some lavender the other day from a restaurant garden as i walked by (is that legal?) I can't really tell a difference in my room but sometimes i imagine that i can.
• I'm feeling really DIY-ey lately. I can see the possibilities in everything!
• I can't believe that i ACTUALLY like my classes. They can feel long at times but im no longer learning about chemistry and the history of Russia (things that i really don't care about). I love actually going to class and wanting to remember every bit of every detail im taught!

I'm taking nicely to this... i might have to be in school for a long time. 

Sorry Mom and Dad!

Church Visits

   After 7 weeks and 7 churches.... i have come to realize and appreciate my home church.
NOT to say there aren't some great churches out here but oh how i miss Alderwood! So far i have visited:

• 1 Foursquare church (didn't realize it was foursquare until i got there)
• 1 Acts 29 church
• 1 plant church
• 3 Non-denominational churches
• and 1 Greek Orthodox Church for the fun of it!

It's been interesting to say the least. I have been slightly baffled and confused at the number of churches who choose not to preach straight from the text of the Bible. I don't have a problem with topical preaching (when it's done correctly) but i don't understand why you wouldn't choose to preach from a book of the Bible. I believe that there is nothing better to change the hearts of people than teaching straight from God's word and letting it do the work. I guess there will always be things that bother me about each church i go to and i need to be okay with that.
   The MOST interesting church by far has been the Greek Orthodox church. For my music class we needed to go to a worship service that is opposite of what we are use to and OH my goodness was it opposite! We went at 9:00am for the Orthros worship Service where they sing through a number of Psalms. We decided not to stay for the Divine Liturgy Service in which they partake in the Eucharist. It was an hour long service in which 5 other people attended plus the 6 people i had driven with. We stuck out like a sore thumb. The Bishop very kindly explained to us how the service worked and i was so kindly deemed "the talker" by my housemates. I had to explain why we had been frantically pulling on the latch to what we thought was the front door and why we had no idea what was going on. It was slightly embarrassing and i felt so awkward. The service was extremely traditional, stagnant, and passionless. There was nothing about the service other than the monotonous routine that would cause you to fall in love with our Lord. It made me sad and i felt like i needed to actually read my Bible instead of listen to the two Bishops in their monotone voices recite the Psalms.
   We decided to sneak out as the Bishop stated burning incense and before the Eucharist started because we couldn't even partake in the service. It was an interesting Sunday to say the least.

   I finished my Sunday by watching Dan in Real Life, taking a nap, writing a Anthropology paper, eating 2 pieces of cake, skyping with my sister and friend, watching EverAfter, and then reading for my class the next day (in that order).

   I'm still praying that God would lead me to a church that teaches the Word and where i can serve.

Home... let me go hooooome!

   Not that i don't love school out here and all the people i get to meet and learn from but... there is no place like home.

   I'm so excited for Thanksgiving! I wasn't quite sure how or when i was going to be able to get home due to the fact that "Big Blue" the truck isn't really reliable. One of my house mates is visiting the better side of WA for Thanksgiving and a few guys from my brother house want to see Seattle and visit friends in Enumclaw!

  With her little car and $25 bucks from each of us for gas... I'll be home to eat turkey, ski ( i vow to get my family up on that mountain),  and visit friends and family! 

Yeah!!! I'm coming home soon!

p.s.

I'm currently listening to "Home" by Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros  hence the blog post title...

Boxing and Flowers

   New hobby... boxing! Our brother house last year bought a punching bag and never used it. A couple girls in our house recently discovered this and we have been vigorously reading our books about boxing (no joke... we actually have them) and working out daily with a little karate on the side (lovingly taught to us by our house mate Audrey). It is SO much fun and i love punching the heck out of the bag with the GINORMOUS gloves they have.
p.s.
   our brother house use to be a meth house so the basement and garage walls are covered with old 1970 carpet samples. I'm kind of afraid that if i touch them im going to get meth on my hands and become addicted.

   On a more feminine note, today i went to Manito Park. It's really beautiful and it was the perfect day to go.
After having a three hour "exploring music" class where i had just practiced for an hour how to draw the treble an bass cleft, it was really nice to go out right before sunset in the warm weather and look at the garden. There are three different gardens within the park and they are gorgeous! The rose garden smelled wonderful and i have decided that Dahlias are my new favorite flower along with peonies. (Walking through the park reminded me of the Arboretum at home...)

   God's creation is beautiful!

Dahlias

Japanese Garden

Oreos, Diet Coke, Carmel Apple Pops, donuts, and OT Survey...

   I have never had so many Golden Chocolate Oreos and Diet Coke with lime in my life! The other day i went to Walmart and went down the soft drink aisle "just to look" and see if they had my favorite diet beverage. Turns out they did but only in a 24 which i bought without hesitation... I'm a terrible person i know. My house mates and a few guys from across the street proceeded to WinCo to buy a duck, turkey, and two pork shoulders to smoke in the 55 gallon oil drum owned by our friend Zach a.k.a North Carolina.  While at WinCo i decided it was a really good idea to buy Golden Chocolate Oreos, Carmel Apple Pops (split between my housemate Rakel and I), and a $.55 donut (seriously, who can pass up a $.55 donut?). Let's just say when i got home i felt guilty and will no longer be going to WinCo due to it's irresistible cheapness.

  MORE importantly i have been taking an Old Testament class this past semester where most of the time i feel lost but on the odd chance that i understand what my professor is talking about, i learn a lot. I realize that the majority of my knowledge of the Old Testament comes from Sunday school when i was four years old. My teacher is seriously.... the most intelligent man i have ever met and I'm always in awe of how much he knows about creation, Jewish culture, and biochemistry (yeah... he's that guy). Due to the fact that most of the OT stories i heard in kindergarden were "child friendly", i have come to some realizations/ understandings these past six weeks that have opened my eyes to who God is and a little bit of how He works.

   As we go through the OT, the main purpose is to show the history (what ACTUALLY happened) of the world and the Messianic line. First... I always thought that it was wrong to not like Jacob. The story of Jacob stealing the first born birth right always seemed "bad" but for some reason i thought i was still suppose to "like" Jacob seeing as though God DID choose him to be apart of the Messianic line... right? My professor taught us in a way that portrayed Jacob for what he really was... a conman. Jacob was a TERRIBLE person! He stole his brothers birth right, lied to his dad, had two wives, and lived as a virtual unbeliever and pagan! All this to say... God doesn't care who you are. He uses the poor, unbelieving, sinners to do HIS will in order to glorify Himself and His work!

  Second... Whenever i was taught the story of Jacob and Esau, i always learned that Esau probably was "just joking around" when he sold his birth right to Jacob for a bowl of soup. Little did i know that Esau actually had grown to despise his birth right. Jacob was Rebekah's favorite child and she was constantly reminding Esau and Jacob that the younger would one day serve the older. Esau had grown to despise his birth right and sold it for a value he thought was fair... a bowl of "red". Why didn't God use Esau in the Messianic line? Doesn't he seem like a better choice that stupid Jacob? AGAIN... God does His will.
 
   Third... At one point my professor got really quiet and said, "Girls... I'm going to ask you a question and i wan't you to think long and hard about it. How would you feel if you were Leah?"... ouch! My heart sunk and i felt like crying. How would i feel if i KNEW my father was giving me to a man that didn't love me and would rather have my sister? THEN, after he discovers who i really am after ACCIDENTALLY marrying me, yells at my father that this isn't the one he wanted. I felt kind of sick thinking about that BUT as we went through Genesis, in the midst of this great story about Joshua, there is a random insert about Judah in chapter 38. God used Judah in the Messianic line and where did Judah come from?... Leah. God uses Leah in the midst of this mess!
 
Just a little bit of what i have been learning... it might be craziness that i have just never realized this before but... oh well.
God is bigger than Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and me.

P.s.
Shout out to Jordan Kilmer for being the first one to ask for a shout out!

Set Fire to the Rain!

   The other day i started a fire in my kitchen. I put the kettle on the stove and turned on the burner to "high". A little while later i saw smoke coming up from the bottom of the element and i thought that maybe some soup that had spilled over the other day was just getting a little brown. Two seconds later it burst into flames and i just stood looking at it because i didn't know what to do! I tried to move the kettle but it was too hot to try and grab so i just yelled at one of my house mates Rakel to come into the kitchen. She ran in and we stood and stared at it for a good ten seconds before i decided it would be a good idea to turn off the stove and grab a towel and move the water pot. The fire died down and then we just looked at each other and laughed while i spent the next ten minutes scrubbing soot off of the kettle. 

   So it's not quite like setting fire to the rain but... it's setting fire to boiling water!

You Noodle...

Yes Mom... you were right...
   My Mom always told me to never eat raw noodles because i was going to chip a tooth. Guess what. I  was eating a raw noodle and i broke the permanent retainer in my mouth. It's kind of just hanging there as we speak and my teeth feel like they are going to fall out onto the floor. My orthodontist told me that your teeth have a memory and they can move back to their previous positions. This morning i kept looking at my mouth to see if i now have a snaggle tooth or if i look like the dog Dewy next door who looks like an ewok from Star Wars (aaaand he smells like pee... ew). Hopefully I'll get that fixed soon and ill be back to a nice anxiety free smile.
Listen to your Moms... don't eat raw noodles!

First thoughts thought!

Ever since i was a freshman in high school everyone told me it was important to write my thoughts down into a journal and so... for the past four years of my life i have been writing everything from my worries, praises, anger, prayers, and grocery lists in my little black moleskin. Lately i have been wanting to share them with the world! Granted... i have come to realize that my blog may only be seen by my dear children in the future (Lord willing...) in order for me to say, "Hey look! I was a cool hipster who did the whole blogging thing!" So... i have decided to write them down... in a blog... online. Here are my thoughts.
Misconceptions about Bible School:
It's my freshman year at Moody Bible Institute and i have come to realize that many of the ideas i had about coming here have proved to be untrue. At first i was really disappointed with some of these but as time goes on (6 weeks... i know), those disappointments are what have made me grow. Part of me knew that i had set a high standard for the adventure i was about to embark on but i still had unattainably high expectations for the experience and sweet people i live with. Here are a few of my wonderful disappointments:
1. Bible students don't sin: I know... what was i thinking. I was coming here expecting people to have things figured out and know what's going on. Turns out.. everyone here is just as messed up as me! weird. AAAAnd so... i have discovered that Bible students sin just like me aaand sometimes this causes conflict that needs to be solved in loving very awkward talks.
2. Bible school is easy: NOPE! My professors are genius and they expect genius. One of my syllabi for a paper i have to write actually says, "Big idea is profound". I'm sorry but... I don't think i have ever had a profound thought in my life and you expect me to have one every week? geez... PLUS i read like four hour a night...
3. Bible students know everything about the Bible: One of my house mates grew up in a very nonchristian home. Sometimes she asks me about Bible stories that i learned in Sunday school when i was five... i find her refreshing. She doesn't act like she knows everything and she asks questions when she doesn't! Her honesty is nice. I like her :) Im beginning to realize that it's okay to be lost sometimes and have no idea whats going on!
4. Moody Bridal Institute: THAT is actually true... it's like a mad dash for husbands and wives out here.
5. It's easy to feel close to God at Bible school: Even though half of my work and reading is spent studying the Bible, i SO easily lose track of my quiet time with Jesus and i find that i have gone a week without actually sitting down, reading the Bible, NOT writing a paper on it, and then praying. I need accountability... working on that one with my house mates.
6. Bible students get along with their house mates because they love Jesus: Conflict. What do you do when people put peanut buttery/ syrupy pancake dishes on the counter and don't clean up? I don't know. Our house is still working on the chore list and still trying to figure out what pushes other people's buttons, how do we confront one another about things that bother us so we don't grow bitter, and who keeps leaving their socks on the table.

When i came out here i think i knew deep down in my heart that all of these things were untrue but it's so hard not to build up ideas about school and even start to make it an idol. As I'm going through this weird experience I can't believe how much God is teaching me! Strange how a lot of this is OUTSIDE of Dr. McMath's OT Survey class and mostly in Walmart when i can't stand how slow that guy from the house next door is shopping and i just want to go home... (McMAth is a genius though)

Just some thoughts being thought...