A loooooong Walmart trip

What happens when you take a boy from the brother house to Walmart... this:

   First i had to get gas so we went to Cetex ( I had never heard of it). This part was actually my fault but in my defense... i had never seen a gas pump like this in my life. 

noz·zle/ˈnäzəl/

Noun:

A spout at the end of a pipe, hose, or tube, used to control a jet of gas or liquid.

So when the gas pump says, "lift nozzle and press handle to start pumping" I would assume that meant to lift the hose, stick it in my car, and the gas would start pouring into the gas tank. According to the gas pump... the definition of nozzle is actually, "the plastic vessel that holds the gas pump". I stood there for five minutes before i shamefully asked Kevin (the guys from my brother house) what i was doing wrong. He stepped out of the car, flipped the holder up, and got back in the car... my bad.

  We had a nice conversation on the way to Walmart and we made it to the land of crappy produce, poptarts, and khaki pants. Once we got there i found out that Kevin needed to print out some pictures. On our left side there was a small studio to take portraits. I didn't think that was where we needed to be in order to print off pictures from a USB so i suggested we ask Customer Service where the photo center was. Kevin conceded and we walked across the store only to find the line was filled with women and shopping carts full of Christmas gifts that they had decided would not make their husbands, aunts, or grandchildren happy. Soooo we walked all the way back to the portrait center to be told by a not so kind woman that they printed all their pictures in Missouri. I explained to her that we needed to just print some pictures from a USB and she pointed to the back of the store.

   The back of the store has a small photo center and a couple kiosks to plug in your USBs. Strangely there was a very clear space to put your floppy disc in but underneath the machine there was a space for the USB drive to be plugged in... you would think Walmart of all paces would be a little more modern. Kevin plugged his USB drive and a single picture popped up. I thought he forgot to put his pictures on the drive BUT... yes... we had driven all the way to Walmart to print off a single photo... and to our wonderful surprise, this Walmart was a 1 hour photo center. So we set out to wait for an hour for one picture. 

   We spent an hour eating Subway, looking around the store, and laughing hysterically at the fact that Kevin spent a good 30 seconds trying to open a peachy folder from the opposite side. I had to correct him by turning the folder around.

   Once our hour was up we went back to the photo center to be told that the machine had broke and it would be another half hour. So we sat down...

   20 minutes later, in the most distressed tone i had ever heard, the photo attendant came to tell us that every single one of the photo attendants were going on break and wouldn't be back for another half hour. 

   If you have ever imagined the stereotypical man who lives in his mother's basement... this was the photo attendant. He was wearing his khaki pants, a blue polo, a white wrinkled lab coat, and a name tag. He wore each one of these as if they were a CIA uniform and badge. As he was telling us that we would have to wait for another half hour (which we couldn't do because Kevin had to be at work in a half hour) mid sentence, he pauses, looks back, and sprints to the counter to check the picture. (Kevin and i start laughing hysterically). From across the store he looks a us, points, and screams, "YOU MY FRIEND ARE THE LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE"! (yes because waiting for an hour and a half for one picture makes us very very lucky).  He wraps the picture up, and very cooly slips the picture to us, winks, and says, "this is free".

  

A 2 hour Walmart trip, lots of laughs, and a story to tell our housemates... I would deem the trip successful.