Oreos, Diet Coke, Carmel Apple Pops, donuts, and OT Survey...

   I have never had so many Golden Chocolate Oreos and Diet Coke with lime in my life! The other day i went to Walmart and went down the soft drink aisle "just to look" and see if they had my favorite diet beverage. Turns out they did but only in a 24 which i bought without hesitation... I'm a terrible person i know. My house mates and a few guys from across the street proceeded to WinCo to buy a duck, turkey, and two pork shoulders to smoke in the 55 gallon oil drum owned by our friend Zach a.k.a North Carolina.  While at WinCo i decided it was a really good idea to buy Golden Chocolate Oreos, Carmel Apple Pops (split between my housemate Rakel and I), and a $.55 donut (seriously, who can pass up a $.55 donut?). Let's just say when i got home i felt guilty and will no longer be going to WinCo due to it's irresistible cheapness.

  MORE importantly i have been taking an Old Testament class this past semester where most of the time i feel lost but on the odd chance that i understand what my professor is talking about, i learn a lot. I realize that the majority of my knowledge of the Old Testament comes from Sunday school when i was four years old. My teacher is seriously.... the most intelligent man i have ever met and I'm always in awe of how much he knows about creation, Jewish culture, and biochemistry (yeah... he's that guy). Due to the fact that most of the OT stories i heard in kindergarden were "child friendly", i have come to some realizations/ understandings these past six weeks that have opened my eyes to who God is and a little bit of how He works.

   As we go through the OT, the main purpose is to show the history (what ACTUALLY happened) of the world and the Messianic line. First... I always thought that it was wrong to not like Jacob. The story of Jacob stealing the first born birth right always seemed "bad" but for some reason i thought i was still suppose to "like" Jacob seeing as though God DID choose him to be apart of the Messianic line... right? My professor taught us in a way that portrayed Jacob for what he really was... a conman. Jacob was a TERRIBLE person! He stole his brothers birth right, lied to his dad, had two wives, and lived as a virtual unbeliever and pagan! All this to say... God doesn't care who you are. He uses the poor, unbelieving, sinners to do HIS will in order to glorify Himself and His work!

  Second... Whenever i was taught the story of Jacob and Esau, i always learned that Esau probably was "just joking around" when he sold his birth right to Jacob for a bowl of soup. Little did i know that Esau actually had grown to despise his birth right. Jacob was Rebekah's favorite child and she was constantly reminding Esau and Jacob that the younger would one day serve the older. Esau had grown to despise his birth right and sold it for a value he thought was fair... a bowl of "red". Why didn't God use Esau in the Messianic line? Doesn't he seem like a better choice that stupid Jacob? AGAIN... God does His will.
 
   Third... At one point my professor got really quiet and said, "Girls... I'm going to ask you a question and i wan't you to think long and hard about it. How would you feel if you were Leah?"... ouch! My heart sunk and i felt like crying. How would i feel if i KNEW my father was giving me to a man that didn't love me and would rather have my sister? THEN, after he discovers who i really am after ACCIDENTALLY marrying me, yells at my father that this isn't the one he wanted. I felt kind of sick thinking about that BUT as we went through Genesis, in the midst of this great story about Joshua, there is a random insert about Judah in chapter 38. God used Judah in the Messianic line and where did Judah come from?... Leah. God uses Leah in the midst of this mess!
 
Just a little bit of what i have been learning... it might be craziness that i have just never realized this before but... oh well.
God is bigger than Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and me.

P.s.
Shout out to Jordan Kilmer for being the first one to ask for a shout out!

Set Fire to the Rain!

   The other day i started a fire in my kitchen. I put the kettle on the stove and turned on the burner to "high". A little while later i saw smoke coming up from the bottom of the element and i thought that maybe some soup that had spilled over the other day was just getting a little brown. Two seconds later it burst into flames and i just stood looking at it because i didn't know what to do! I tried to move the kettle but it was too hot to try and grab so i just yelled at one of my house mates Rakel to come into the kitchen. She ran in and we stood and stared at it for a good ten seconds before i decided it would be a good idea to turn off the stove and grab a towel and move the water pot. The fire died down and then we just looked at each other and laughed while i spent the next ten minutes scrubbing soot off of the kettle. 

   So it's not quite like setting fire to the rain but... it's setting fire to boiling water!

You Noodle...

Yes Mom... you were right...
   My Mom always told me to never eat raw noodles because i was going to chip a tooth. Guess what. I  was eating a raw noodle and i broke the permanent retainer in my mouth. It's kind of just hanging there as we speak and my teeth feel like they are going to fall out onto the floor. My orthodontist told me that your teeth have a memory and they can move back to their previous positions. This morning i kept looking at my mouth to see if i now have a snaggle tooth or if i look like the dog Dewy next door who looks like an ewok from Star Wars (aaaand he smells like pee... ew). Hopefully I'll get that fixed soon and ill be back to a nice anxiety free smile.
Listen to your Moms... don't eat raw noodles!

First thoughts thought!

Ever since i was a freshman in high school everyone told me it was important to write my thoughts down into a journal and so... for the past four years of my life i have been writing everything from my worries, praises, anger, prayers, and grocery lists in my little black moleskin. Lately i have been wanting to share them with the world! Granted... i have come to realize that my blog may only be seen by my dear children in the future (Lord willing...) in order for me to say, "Hey look! I was a cool hipster who did the whole blogging thing!" So... i have decided to write them down... in a blog... online. Here are my thoughts.
Misconceptions about Bible School:
It's my freshman year at Moody Bible Institute and i have come to realize that many of the ideas i had about coming here have proved to be untrue. At first i was really disappointed with some of these but as time goes on (6 weeks... i know), those disappointments are what have made me grow. Part of me knew that i had set a high standard for the adventure i was about to embark on but i still had unattainably high expectations for the experience and sweet people i live with. Here are a few of my wonderful disappointments:
1. Bible students don't sin: I know... what was i thinking. I was coming here expecting people to have things figured out and know what's going on. Turns out.. everyone here is just as messed up as me! weird. AAAAnd so... i have discovered that Bible students sin just like me aaand sometimes this causes conflict that needs to be solved in loving very awkward talks.
2. Bible school is easy: NOPE! My professors are genius and they expect genius. One of my syllabi for a paper i have to write actually says, "Big idea is profound". I'm sorry but... I don't think i have ever had a profound thought in my life and you expect me to have one every week? geez... PLUS i read like four hour a night...
3. Bible students know everything about the Bible: One of my house mates grew up in a very nonchristian home. Sometimes she asks me about Bible stories that i learned in Sunday school when i was five... i find her refreshing. She doesn't act like she knows everything and she asks questions when she doesn't! Her honesty is nice. I like her :) Im beginning to realize that it's okay to be lost sometimes and have no idea whats going on!
4. Moody Bridal Institute: THAT is actually true... it's like a mad dash for husbands and wives out here.
5. It's easy to feel close to God at Bible school: Even though half of my work and reading is spent studying the Bible, i SO easily lose track of my quiet time with Jesus and i find that i have gone a week without actually sitting down, reading the Bible, NOT writing a paper on it, and then praying. I need accountability... working on that one with my house mates.
6. Bible students get along with their house mates because they love Jesus: Conflict. What do you do when people put peanut buttery/ syrupy pancake dishes on the counter and don't clean up? I don't know. Our house is still working on the chore list and still trying to figure out what pushes other people's buttons, how do we confront one another about things that bother us so we don't grow bitter, and who keeps leaving their socks on the table.

When i came out here i think i knew deep down in my heart that all of these things were untrue but it's so hard not to build up ideas about school and even start to make it an idol. As I'm going through this weird experience I can't believe how much God is teaching me! Strange how a lot of this is OUTSIDE of Dr. McMath's OT Survey class and mostly in Walmart when i can't stand how slow that guy from the house next door is shopping and i just want to go home... (McMAth is a genius though)

Just some thoughts being thought...